The Children Did Not Come Out Tonight

Saturday, October 31, 2009
My wife was disappointed but not greatly, when no kids came Trick-or-Treating on this Halloween. Disappointed because she enjoys handing out treats to all that come to our door, dressed as goblins and monsters. Not greatly disappointed because she was feeling poorly, and I was at work and not able to enjoy the night with her. This leaves us with much candy to enjoy for the next few weeks.

The weather has been foul for weeks, cold and drizzling rain that tends to dampen any festive spirits. And, the flu season is at it's peak so I doubt if many parents were eager to take their children from door to door. Fortunately for the kids, there was an alternative this year. Church.

Several local Churches got together and invited everyone to the local school gymnasium to celebrate(?) Halloween. Which seems rather odd to me, as most Churches are dead-set against anything to do with witches, goblins and the like! Oh well, if Jesus can tolerate Easter Egg Hunts and Christmas Trees perhaps a few Zombies would be ok too.

But I remember when Halloween was more than a Sugar Rush, better than a Costume Contest. It was an opportunity to get even with Teachers, Preachers and the local cop for all those little things they represent to kids; rules, manners and social graces.

Halloween was a night when latent Juvenile Terrorists went out armed with bars of soap to decorate neighbor's windows with vulgarities. We waged war on out-houses, tipping them over ( even better if a teacher was in it ). And toilet paper, roll upon roll of tissue to adorn the trees of the grumpiest neighbor.

It's kinda sad really, my wife and I with all this candy and those kids at the school with the preachers. It almost makes me wish I'd wake up to find the wind-shield of my car soaped, "Eat Shit Wallace! You Suck!".